New Ads

My owners decided they are not wasting my money fast enough.  So they decided to waste more of it on these Internet ads.  I guess it was neat to see my ad on Google though (highlighted):

Here's a close-up:

Here's my other ad, followed by a close-up:

If you see my ads, whatever you do, don't click on them.  It costs me money.  Just type http://www.surlyjacks.com in your browser address bar and go buy something directly, to help me pay for these ads.

By the way, that first ad is completely true.  I use my Leatherman for stabbing, grabbing, slicing and sawing all of the time.

New Product Lines Added

At least one of my lazy owners is finally getting some work done. Some new products have been added to my store since the opening, including the following:

• Ledge(TM) sleeping bags
• Brunton(TM) binoculars
• Leatherman(TM) multitools
• Gerber(TM) knives
• Cornea(TM), Carnivore(TM), and Gerber(TM) LED and Xenon flashlights

What do you mean, are they the real brands? Of course they are real! Those Leatherman(TM) multitools are real Leatherman(TM) multitools! Those Gerber(TM) knives are real Gerber(TM) knives! Do you honestly think I would go to all the trouble to type that little (TM) thing if they weren't the real deal? Stop bothering me if you are going to ask such ridiculous questions!

Finally - Store Open

Well, my owners finally opened up my web store, Surly Jack's Outpost.  They sure took their own sweet time.  They tell me they didn't have all the red tape taken care of before and so it took them longer than they thought.  Why do I even pay these guys!  Where can I find a decent owner?

And take a look at the store.  It looks so generic - so lame.  If only the graphic artist would finish my logo!  Man you can't get any good help around here.  I promise I will continue to feel surly at least until someone makes that web site look decent.

Still, at least you can go in there and buy something.  Not even all of my products are available there yet, but you should still go buy something there.  Yeah.  Stop bothering me and go buy something.